Do You Remember How We Felt Sitting By the Water?
by wordsoftreason
Summary: How it should've been.


Listen to Glee - Mine while you read this.

* * *

"Is this yours or mine?" I ask as I pull out a black t-shirt with a duck on it and a print underneath the picutre saying Duck you.

"This one's yours. Mine is yellow", Brittany chuckles. It's so sweet I can't help but smile as I fold the clothes.

"That shirts brings so many memories. Do you remember?" I say through the laugher.

_5 years before, the last day of summer before highschool_

"_Catch me if you can!"Brittany playfully hits me in the shoulder before she starts running towards the lake. It doesn't take long till I start chasing her. But she's so fast. It must've been from all the dancing, because we're both on the Cheerios and I'm still slower than her. It shows on her perfectly toned legs._

_Brittany is the prettiest girl I know. She's been my best friend since the first day of fifth grade when I kicked Finn's ass because he kept stealing her crayons and making fun of her. Ever since then, we became inseparable. We never kept any secrets from each other.. Well, maybe, except one. I had the biggest crush on her and she didn't know. At least I thought she didn't._

_I'm not quite sure when it started happening. Maybe when I realized she's the only one with whom I can spend all the time in the world without being bored or iritated. Of course, I had other friends, but with them I'd get bored easily. _

_Maybe when we both started dating boys. Sure, I've had boyfriends, but I've never had feelings for them like I had for Brittany. I cared about them, I didn't like when I was the one causing them pain, but it kind of was the right thing to do. You know, not fooling myself. I could never do such thing to Brittany, never._

_Maybe when we had sleepovers where we used to eat pancakes we made together, laughing at how boys don't know how to kiss and how they did never understand us._

_Maybe when we watched movies and tv-shows all cuddled up in my room, playing with each other's hair._

_I don't know, it just kind of happened. I mean, how can you not like a girl with electric blue eyes, golden locks who never failed to make you smile?_

_I stop running after her when I see her standing and watching the lake. I come a little closer so I stand by her side, looking in the same direction. My smile softens when I see she's looking at a few ducks swimming. _

"_Come here", I take her by the hand and lead her towards the stairs where you can enter the lake. _

"_Sit", I assure her before I take her backpack and join her. I open the backpack and take out the sandwiches we made. She takes her sandwich in silence and throws small pieces of bread in the lake for the ducks. They gather fastly, waiting for more._

"_Why are you so quiet?" I ask carefully. She breathes in deeply before she starts talking. She knows she can trust me. We never have those conversations like: What's the matter? –Oh nothing. _

"_I don't want all of this to be over", she admits._

"_All of this?" I ask, confused._

"_Summer. Spending every day with you without any worries. I want this to last forever."_

"_I know how you feel. But just because summer is over, it doesn't mean everything's gonna change", I say softly as I look up to meet her blue eyes. Actually, they're kind of grey at this moment._

"_It does."_

"_Why is that?"_

"_Because the school will start and we won't even hang out like we used to because we're going to be so busy. And we won't be able to have movie nights and sleepovers", she continues._

"_Well, it's going to be a little hard, but there's nothing you and I can't do. We'll conquer them all. Together." She opens her mouth to say something, but she just looks at the lake. When she notices I'm still watching her and waiting to say more, she begins again._

"_And I'm afraid you will find new friends and forget about me", I almost laugh because it sounds very childish, but then it hurts me. If she thinks anbody could replace her easily, she has no idea._

"_That will never happen", My answer is simple and honest. Her lips curl into a sweet smile._

"_You just say that because you don't want me to be sad."_

"_True, I don't ever want you to be sad. And I say that because it's the truth. Nobody could ever replace you."_

"_Really? Why?" She still doesn't believe me and I can see it in her eyes. They tell me everything she doesn't. _

"_Because they're not you", I smile at how cheesy that sounds._

_And for the first time, I finally feel her lips on mine._

"Yeah, I remember. I wish everything was like back then right now. It was the best summer of my life." She says nostalgically with a soft smile on her face.

"For now. This one will be even better", I'm so sure of that.

"If we stay together long enough to enjoy it", she mutters. Her sudden coldness catches me off guard.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I snap.

"What you heard", she answers bitterly.

"I've been trying really hard and this is how you thank me? You should be happy that I came home after all. I came to see you! You're the only reason why I keep coming back to this stupid place!"

"Here we go again, it's all about you. Do you ever know how I feel? I feel lonely. I feel like I'm all my own, all the time. I have no one to turn to. I'm always angry. I've been losing myself since the day you left. Whenever something happens, I spend the whole day and night waiting for you on Skype, but you're never there. You're never there when I need you. I can't do this anymore."

Is this really happening? I feel something breaking inside of me.

I surrender and run outside with tears streaming down my face. I'm a few steps before crossing the road when I feel a warrm, strong grip on my hand causing me to turn around.

"Please don't go", Brittany begs, her eyes full of tears.

"Why? You said what you wanted to say. I guess that was a goodbye."

"But I didn't mean it. I just snapped. I've had so much feelings inside of me that just decided to burst out. I'm so sorry. I know you are very busy. And I know I'm not a child anymore. But I need you, Santana. More than anything. I can't do this all alone, by myself." She takes a few steps closer.

I just can't let her go.

"No, Britt, I'm sorry. I am not here when you need me the most. Every night before I fall asleep, I think how strong you are and how you can deal with everything, that you don't even need me. I guess I was wrong again. Also, I live every day in fear you're going to find someone in McKinnley and stop loving me. There's just so much to handle", I break down.

"Santana, listen to me", she cups my cheeks with both of her hands, causing me to look right into her eyes.

"We'll figure it out. I'm not ready to lose you. We are stronger than this."

She pulls me into a deep, desperate kiss I've been missing for so long. I missed the scent of her hair, the taste of her lips. I missed her so much.

"I'll never leave you alone. You are the best thing that's ever been mine."


End file.
